Navigating the Layers of Reality to Discover True Individuality
For most of my life I thought I knew who I was and how the world worked. Then everything cracked. Chronic pain hit without explanation. My marriage and career disintegrated. Every belief I had about reality fell apart. What was left wasn’t enlightenment; it was emptiness and confusion.
I spent 34 years behind the chair as a hairdresser, tuning in to many hundreds of people’s personal stories. Along the way I discovered I was a clairvoyant medium. I also practiced shamanic journeying for more than 25 years. Those skills gave me a front-row seat to the hidden emotional worlds people carry with them. But this blog isn’t about my abilities. It’s about what I saw when everything I thought I was collapsed and I looked up from the bottom.
Inside that collapse I started seeing behavioral patterns—story loops, collective emotion pools, the invisible architectures that run our lives. It was a mystical revelation that rewrote everything I knew. I realized much of what I felt emotionally and the thoughts those emotions produced weren’t personal at all but belonged to a shared energetic system of human stories. These fields—what some call egregores—aren’t abstractions. They’re living psychic systems built from collective emotion and belief. They script personal identities, cultures, even our private pain.
One night, when the pain in my body was unbearable, something unexpected happened: I found myself outside of it. Suddenly I was above the bed, looking down at my own body. The scene was strangely calm, not dramatic. In that instant I saw that the pain belonged to my physical form, but the “me” I’d always identified with wasn’t inside it at all. What I’d called “myself” was just the shell. The real awareness—the part that was watching—was nonphysical. From then on it felt as though I was observing my self moving through a play. That perspective never left. It showed me that consciousness isn’t trapped in the story; it’s the witness to it.
Since then I’ve been mapping how these unseen forces work—how inherited stories, institutions, and belief-fields shape us into roles we didn’t choose. How much of what we think is “us” is actually a program running through us. My work isn’t about selling freedom or enlightenment. It’s about tracing the wiring, naming the patterns, and testing ways out of the loops.
If you’ve ever sensed that your emotions, thoughts, or roles aren’t entirely yours—that something bigger is scripting the scene—you’re not crazy. You’re noticing the code. I’m not here as a teacher with answers; I’m a fellow mapmaker sharing what I’ve found in the Between